In Afghanistan during ancient times a boy named Yaskul was about to trade a rug to a Mexican merchant to get a good price for it to help his family. ” I am nervous to make this trade dad” Yaskul exclaims” You’ll be fine” the Dad responds but when Yaskul turned around his dad felt worried about Yaskul. Seconds later Yaskul was waiting for the Mexican merchant when suddenly Yaskul sees a merchant looking for someone he gets worried when he sees that he had 5 diamonds so Yaskul ran to the merchant and shouted,” Are you the Mexican merchant that wanted to trade diamonds for a rug, “yes” he proclaimed. At that point Yaskul was making the trade for the diamonds and he felt proud of himself.” I can’t believe it” Yaskul” said ” I am a trader”. By the close of an eye Yaskul had helped his family recover from the thieves of along time ago. In the end Yaskul and his family were celebrating that Yaskul finally was a trader.
The End
This is a great start to a story, Edvar. However, I’m wondering if you could still add some more dynamics with the scenes and elaborate on the emotions that are being shared within Yaskul, his father, and the Mexican merchant. Think you would be willing to make those changes?
Yes Mr. Garcia I will work on that and Thanks for your feedback
Mr. Garcia is that enough emotions I put to the characters now.